Thursday, 12 April 2012

A Kiwi Adventure..

I should apologise for the gap in time between blogs. It is completely unacceptable, I realise. Below is the first of three final blogs of my travels 2011/12.

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Queenstown Airport is the location, a small but busy hub of tourist travel across the South Island of New Zealand. Through the glass-fronted exterior a small crowd gathers in anticipation as flight NZ245 from Wellington touches down. As with most small airports, the passenger entry is further dramatised by the visible traipse across the tarmac towards the terminal building.

As the hordes depart the plane, some laughing uncontrollably, it is left to the last punter off the plane before the crowd is satisfied. As the man in question – dressed in an ill-fitting pink playboy bunny suit – makes his way through the terminal doors with nervous trepidation, a roar erupts as the entire airport stands and applauds. A fitting way to start an unforgettable stag do with the Beige Brigade – NZ’s equivalent of the Barmy Army.

The next two days mixed stunning scenery across the Southland with incredulous laughter, silliness, genuine fear, endless wit and the fine art of ale tasting. With two minibuses filled with Speights, men dressed in the theme ‘Been at the bookies four days straight’ and an air of chaotic anticipation, we began a 200km pub-crawl of Herculean proportions.

The road to Te Anau – surely the story for a future blockbuster movie – featured the stag being ushered to bungee jump from a bridge in full playboy bunny attire, a visit into the caves of the Gibbston Valley winery, stops at Kingston, Garston and Mossburn pubs, a magnificent BBQ on the Gerken family farm and bar stool jousting in Manapouri.

This, in hindsight, was merely the warm up. Saturday morning, bleary eyed but still functioning, the buses loaded up once more and headed further south. On a farm just outside the small country town of Tuatapere, the stag – dressed in a one-piece camouflage lycra – was left with the farmer for two hours as the group wandered off up the road to shoot clays. On return the result was astonishing: the stag wondered back, gun in hand, with an actual stag. As we all applauded his efforts and marched onwards with the prize antlers to boot, a near washout of a game at Winton CC failed to dampen the spirits. If anything it spurred on the company as Invercargill was taken by storm with more gusto than Poland in the Blitzkrieg.

A long night followed by an emotional farewell breakfast in the morning marked the closure of an epic weekend, but from there my Southland adventure continued with a full day of work, ferret hunting with The Goosh.
After a quick pre-Test shave it was on to Dunedin, the city of students and burning couches, for two days of international cricket at the most southerly Test ground in the world. So southerly, in fact, it felt like we were in the arctic.

It was a sight to behold: Chris Martin ripping through the South Africans – dressed like Michelin Men with four or five layers – in front of a brave crowd at the picturesque University Oval. Alas, the Kiwis would fail to capitalise on a fantastic platform and fall to a glorious defeat. Kiwis, they’re just too nice.

Dunedin – with its people holding two great qualities, namely being students and New Zealanders – was also a perfect place to Couchsurf. So, on the steepest street in the world, Elizabeth and her flatmates opened their house to me, and with the couch fortunately not alight, two days of nostalgic, university-style banter resulted. A further day of Couchsurfing in Christchurch followed before heading back to Australia to see out my last two weeks of travels. New Zealand, to me, still remains the best country on Earth (bar one, of course).

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